Airplane Seatmate Bingo
Welcome to the airplane seatmate bingo: how many of the ones on this list have you sat beside on a flight? Sure, most of us try to stay quiet, normal, and respectful when cramped in a cabin 30,000 feet in the air, but apparently not everyone gets the memo. From crying babies to movie marathoners, here are the 20 types of people you'll sit next to on the plane.
1. Baby or Child
No one wants to sit next to a baby or a child—unless, of course, they're miraculously quiet. But most of the time (or maybe all of the time), you can be guaranteed that if you're sitting next to someone's kid, they'll either be screaming or crying the entire flight.
2. Talkative Social Butterfly
If you're an extrovert, maybe sitting beside someone who likes to talk and make friends isn't all that bad. Now, if you're an introvert... then this sounds like the seventh circle of hell. For the love of all that is holy, please stop engaging in conversation with strangers.
3. Snorer
If you're sitting next to a loud snorer on a long flight and don't have a pair of headphones... good luck. Sure, you can try to shake them awake and (politely) tell them to just tone it down a teensy bit, but that's probably not going to get you anywhere.
4. First-Time Flyer
Sitting next to a first-time flyer can go one of two ways: either they'll be completely calm or they'll be kicking and screaming at every small movement. For the sake of both of you, it's probably best to try and sleep the whole way through.
5. Nervous Nellie
It's not only the first-time fliers that could be bouncing in their seats with nerves—nervous fliers are also the same. They might turn to you during every bump and shift, asking, "What's that?" and not taking turbulence as the answer.
6. Extreme B.O.
If you're sitting next to someone who smells like they didn't shower for a month straight, suddenly sitting beside a baby or a snorer doesn't seem so bad after all. At least for those you can shove some earplugs or earphones in. But you can't exactly pinch your nose shut for the entire duration of the flight.
7. Gassy Beans
Worse than—or maybe on par with—sitting next to someone with B.O. is a person who seems to have no problem letting it rip every two minutes. Lunch hasn't even been served, but you're already covered in skunk spray. You don't want to imagine what it'll be like post-meal.
8. Sick
Since the pandemic, you're probably more wary whenever someone so much as sniffles or sneezes. Off the plane, you can steer clear of germs by detouring away, but when you have to sit next to someone who's coughing so hard your face turns blue from holding your breath too long? Next time, it's probably better to bring a mask on board with you.
9. Inconsiderate Reader
Sitting next to a reader on the plane doesn't sound all that bad, especially if you like books, too. Where you might draw the line is if they shine the brightest light known to mankind in a dark cabin, so you can't even sleep if you tried.
10. Movie Marathoner
You'll probably be okay and survive sitting next to a movie marathoner. Heck, you might even be one yourself! After all, watching shows (or playing games) is the best way to get through a long flight if you can't sleep. Just make sure the volume stays at a respectable level.
11. Music Jammer
Honestly, we almost named this the "volume blaster." After all, it's fine to listen to music with noise-cancelling headphones—but only if you're not setting your playlist to max volume so everyone can hear. As great as music is, no one wants to hear you destroy your eardrums.
12. Packed Too Much
You purposely packed light so you can sit comfortably on your flight without having to worry about fighting for overhead space or jamming your carry-on in your leg rest area. But then your seatmate, who obviously did the opposite, keeps trespassing into your space because they decided to pack their entire closet. What luck.
13. Head Roller
You can best believe that if you're sitting next to someone in the middle seat and they didn't bring a travel pillow, they'll be rolling their head onto your side or shoulders. Now, if you have the window seat you can easily avoid this by scooting away, but it doesn't make it any less annoying.
14. Drunk
Oh, great. You're sitting next to someone who can't count, so two glasses of wine turn to twenty in a blink. If they're the type who passes out when they're drunk, maybe you can deal. But if not, you're probably going to want to call an attendant over.
15. Weak Bladder
People who have weak bladders should not sit in the window seat. Nobody wants to constantly shuffle over for you to use the bathroom every two minutes. Plus, if you know you have this problem, it's probably better for you and everyone if you don't drink so much fluids.
16. Feet Up
Sure, sitting next to someone who puts their feet up is probably not as bad as having to sit in front of them, but even then, nobody wants to sit beside someone who's okay letting their bare feet out. Please, people, keep your socks and shoes on and down on the floor.
17. Constantly Flags Down Flight Attendant
If you're sitting next to someone who constantly flags down the flight attendants, you probably feel you're annoying them by proxy. It's times like these when you really appreciate the hard work flight crews put up with, because you could never be that patient.
18. Complainer
Worse than someone who calls a flight attendant over for every small reason is someone who flags them down to complain. This meal isn't hot enough; the coffee doesn't taste good; the flight is taking so long; why is there no overhead space—the list goes on. Whatever it is, they'll find a way to gripe and grumble about it.
19. Pretends You Don't Exist
Between someone who talks a lot and someone who ignores your entire existence, most of us would probably choose the latter. But it comes to a point. Because if you're sitting next to someone who pretends you're not even there, it might be harder to get them to scoot over when you need to use the bathroom.
20. Sleeper
Pure bliss is sitting next to someone who sleeps the entire flight. No talking, no snoring, no complaining, no obtrusive light when reading—just a nice, quiet, and respectful seatmate who won't annoy or bother you.
